My nipple is on Facebook.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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