I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
How external is "for external use only"?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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