yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
