...so i touched it.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize