the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
