no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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