I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Found the puke drawer
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
