weddingsv make me drug and hornr
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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