The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
