i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
