just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
