Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
