He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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