On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I think my moral compass just broke
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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