I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
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