ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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