I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Houston, we have a blender
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
