My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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