Why are handjobs necessary in class?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
my liver is dry heaving
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
