im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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