If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
this boner is exhausting
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
