How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
