how can u be prego again
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
