So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize