There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
