Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize