i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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