he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
