I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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