I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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