almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
