Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
