Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
