I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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