is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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