I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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