Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize