is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
