Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
