I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
