yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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