OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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