I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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