HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
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