508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I want to make a zoo with you.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
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