i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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