i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
