Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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