i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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