I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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