Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
