'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
