I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
