You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
