That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
