I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
