i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
