Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
