He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
We left the knife in your bed.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
