I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
