my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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