all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
