whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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