She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
