I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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