Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
this just has baby written all over it
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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