Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize