addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize