I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
