I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
